EXPERIENCE OF WATCHING 'EXCEPTIONAL' FILMS IN THEATRE

First of all, please don't feel offended when I tell you the kind of 'exceptional' films I am talking about. Exceptional films cannot be made, they just happen to be so. Directors try to make 'DDLJ', 'Sholay' or 'Gadar' every time but somehow they fail. And they end up making even greater films like 'Chargesheet', 'Jaana Pehchana', 'Chitkabrey', 'Chatur Singh Two Star', 'Tees Maar Khan' and list goes on. Now you know what I am talking about! Most of the times critics/movie addicts already know about the films that are torture from the word go before buying the ticket itself and the fact that torture that is about to happen to them soon. But once you are addicted like me, this type of cheap 'alcohol' also gives you a different kind of high.

It all started when I woke up in the morning and I knew it was Friday. I realized that I had 4-5 flicks to watch that day. One of them was 'Jaana Pehchana' (released last month, a Rajshri production, directed by Sachin who also plays main lead and this was the 'sequel' of 1978 hit 'Ankhiyon Ke Jharokon Se'). While I was brushing my teeth and thinking about it; I knew the shape of things to come that very moment.

I left for the movie theatre. While trying to find some common grounds to chat with few of the acquaintances on the way, I was surprised when one of them suddenly commented, ‘‘Man! How lucky you are! You manage to watch all the new releases every Friday, write about it and then so many people read it, admire it. That’s Wow!’’ and here I was thinking, ‘‘Dude! Grass is always greener on the other side.’’

I reached the movie hall and joined the queue to buy tickets. As always the guy at ticket window recognized me and gave me a 'wicked' smile. I asked him for one ticket of 'Jaana Pechaana' and he smiled again. Then he said, ‘‘Sirjee you are the first one to buy ticket for the movie. If I am able to sell minimum 10 tickets then only movie will be played otherwise the show stands cancelled’’. I knew this coming. I tried to throw my weight of being a regular customer when he came down to minimum of 5 tickets instead of 10. I was repetitively looking at the watch with desperation and praying for 4 more people to buy tickets with lot of sadistic pleasure. And guess what! Suddenly all other shows were full and 4 couples were not left with any option other than buying tickets for this 'exceptional' film.

I felt happy and with all the courage I had, I entered the movie hall. I took my seat and ushers started asking me about much awaited movies coming in next few weeks. They also warned me about the quality of cinema I was about to witness in next two hours. Few routine irritating commercials and few promos of movie were played for ten minutes. Then the movie started and it was exactly what it was supposed to be-insulting, torturous, boring, predictable and %&$%^&#@!

During the whole movie, I kept thinking that every director or technician or any other person involved with a film always works hard and his sole objective is to make a good movie. But when I get tortured by 'United Six', ‘Chargesheet', 'Tere Mere Phere', ‘Love Breakups Zindagi', 'Aaashiqui.In', 'Impatient Vivek' etc.,I always start to think otherwise. Most of these films involve experienced actors, technicians and directors but the final product looks pathetic. It seems that films are made to mock the viewers. Even the ‘‘so-called’’ stars behave in the same manner at times e.g. Aamir playing a student in '3 Idiots' at the age of 43. At least these movies have something great in terms of content for 'Aam Junta' if not for me (in case of '3 Idiots').Viewers need to know one thing for sure that makers do make fun of their own movie in a more insulting manner than what the audience does after coming out of theatre. For an example, during a film festival a leading director of today's time (who has a great following among youth and is considered the most intellectual maker of our time) was asked by the audience that why a certain shot was taken in particular manner in one of his films. He replied with a big grin on his face that it gave an intellectual illusion and confusion to 'wannabe/fake intellectual youth' of today. I was not too surprised and since then I became clearer that what you see is what you get. I always considered aforementioned maker to be the biggest 'intellectual con' of our times.

Anyways coming back to my experience of watching 'exceptional' films! After the end credits rolled, I was happy that the worst was over and better stuff was still to come in other three releases of the week. But I kept wondering why this film was made with so much effort and hard work when makers knew that disaster was written all over it. May be for junkies like me who enjoy all this-watching a movie in empty hall without any expectations!